Words are fucking inadequate.

I love them more than anything, but occasionally they dry up in my mouth. There is never a word for everything, and there’s no way you can express feelings through them. I mean, people use a thousand different types of gestures to express one emotion, even while speaking. How do people expect to get a mixture of emotions through in a mere sentence?


Every time I try comforting a friend, someone who is going through a hard time, or heck, just needs someone to listen, I can not say a fucking thing but “I’m sorry” or “Is there anything I can do to help?”. I am a taped recording, an answering message for a fix-it company. Or “I’m always here if you need to talk.” They know that. I hope they do.
But there’s only so many times you can say sorry before it loses meaning. There’s only so many times you can offer an ear but not a hand.
I can’t do anything but listen. I’m thinking towards them as hard as I can. Don’t be so harsh on yourself! There are so many people who/I really/all of the above care about you. I’d do anything to see you smile. Anything, anything at all, just name it. Please. Talk to me, explain everything. Just let me bear some of that. But it doesn’t count. There’s emotions of anger, regret, bitterness, all for them, all channelled through myself to end up… nowhere.
No-one really classifies me as the type of friend they’d go to first if they need help. I don’t blame them.
I’m not even sure anymore if I’m a good friend to anyone.
I’m just here, and I guess I’m happy enough with that.
But when they need help, I desperately want to show them exactly how I feel.
Then they’ll see that it’s not anything more than an attempt to be a friend.
I can’t say what I need to say. I want to be there for them, but I don’t want to be too pushy in being there for them.
I can’t hold a conversation anymore.
I can’t even get what I want to say across here.