Memories

I started writing about my sibling post for the day.
But I reckon I might just write about experiences.
I said already that I'm not going to focus on it every post.


I'm in the middle of watching a DVD recording of my musical that I did for drama last year, on the night of my birthday. My birthday was in December. The academy I'm at sure took their sweet time getting them to us.
This was the best night of my life, and the best birthday I could possibly have asked for. I get this thrill performing to any audience, no matter what character I'm playing, or if it's to an audience of one or of hundreds of people I don't know.
True, I've only had that experience twice, but it was fantastic.
I don't know. I have a passion for acting even more than a passion for reading, writing, and analysing. That's saying something.
I know I'm not too great at it, but it lets me really live.
Who knows. My life could be acting. My life in the future might be devoted to acting. I hope so.
But teaching will do.

Watching this actually makes me cry, especially a particular scene.
Nostalgia's a bitch. Lesson taught my friends. One friend in particular.
I'd give anything to re-live from about 6 PM, the 11th of December, 2009. I could fix so many things, I could get to live again, I wouldn't have got involved in things I have no right to be involved in.
Or last year, sometime in March, when it was simple enough.
I'd be happy. It's been a while since I can remember that, honestly. I'm always smiling though.
You can't tell.
I hope you can't.

I am not enough.