Experiences

So my friend wrote a blog about this yesterday, on the day of the event, but I decided to wait until the aftereffects really sunk in to decide my definite feelings on it. I went ice-skating yesterday with four friends.
It was fantastic. One of the best days out I've had in a long time. About an hour after I got home, I could not bend my knees more than 90 degrees, without screaming in pain. The rest of the night I stayed stiff as a board, on my laptop replying to the 161 comments I got on facebook as a result of the trip. These are only a few of my bruises, I've got so many more.
Funnily enough, despite the pain-induced convulsing this morning, trying to get out of bed, and the fact that I had to kneel through a four minute monologue I did for an exam today on knees that were killing me, I definitely have come to the conclusion that the pain is and was well worth it. It was fantastic. On the first of June, I officially, completely, and finally let go of something that's been tying me down for a year or two. The second of June was the realisation that I was free.
And that's what was so enjoyable about the experience. Freedom. The only thing any of us were bound by were the session times of the ice rink, and the bus schedule. No worries, no obligations, no work to do there, no deadlines to meet. We were just having fun. The fact that my mind was so much freer was amazing, and really added to the experience.
We could talk to whoever we wanted, could say pretty much anything, and break a few boundaries.
I accused one of my friends of excessive flirting, but I'm sure I did a bit too. And the thing is... it's just flirting. It doesn't really matter.
It's put me in a great mood, and I think that will last for the rest of the week. My self esteem has been lifted, the corners of my mouth were incessantly upturned, and I felt constantly involved.
The only thing bruised is my body. Not even my ego, seeing as falling over was a good thing.
I can't move without groaning at the moment.
But I'm starting to see the bruises as being a reminder to the time we had.

Innocence.

I'm such an innocent for 15.
Not many people have morals as strict as mine, and if they do, they don't uphold them to the extent I do.
Especially mid-teens, the lax years, where everything is starting to get closer. Limits are being pushed, legality and morality is being questioned. All the restrictions are only a year or two away, whether alcohol or other, and those restrictions are ignored. I'd bet most of my mates have been pushed a lot farther than I have, but because I'm such a good little girl, I stay put.
That's not to say I don't enjoy a bit of alcohol, or pushing my limits a bit in another way, but they're pretty much hammered in.
I mean, of course I've broken the law, I mean, anyone who picks wildflowers breaks the law.
But there's major and minor consequences, but those consequences for a particular form of boundary are more a personal issue of mine.
When I make promises, I keep them, especially promises to myself.
There's a sense of betrayal, a sense of distrust, and if I do it once, I won't be prepared to go near that stage for a long time.
Which is why people have learnt not to push me, because I make my boundaries clear, and when people lose faith in my will, in my ability to control myself, they push, and I have broken a couple and lost my temper because of it. One person has seen me angry, properly angry.
'Cause of course, being me, I believe in my own strength, but don't let that provoke anyone to test it, because I'm not sure how much fact the belief is based on.
I have an opinion on everything, and I have morals on most aspects of things, so there's a lot of boundaries to break, more so than what I've alluded to already.

This has been a messed up blog, with ideas and thoughts squirming out of place, sorry.

Thanks for reading.
Brittany.