Friday, April 16, 2010

Innocence.

I'm such an innocent for 15.
Not many people have morals as strict as mine, and if they do, they don't uphold them to the extent I do.
Especially mid-teens, the lax years, where everything is starting to get closer. Limits are being pushed, legality and morality is being questioned. All the restrictions are only a year or two away, whether alcohol or other, and those restrictions are ignored. I'd bet most of my mates have been pushed a lot farther than I have, but because I'm such a good little girl, I stay put.
That's not to say I don't enjoy a bit of alcohol, or pushing my limits a bit in another way, but they're pretty much hammered in.
I mean, of course I've broken the law, I mean, anyone who picks wildflowers breaks the law.
But there's major and minor consequences, but those consequences for a particular form of boundary are more a personal issue of mine.
When I make promises, I keep them, especially promises to myself.
There's a sense of betrayal, a sense of distrust, and if I do it once, I won't be prepared to go near that stage for a long time.
Which is why people have learnt not to push me, because I make my boundaries clear, and when people lose faith in my will, in my ability to control myself, they push, and I have broken a couple and lost my temper because of it. One person has seen me angry, properly angry.
'Cause of course, being me, I believe in my own strength, but don't let that provoke anyone to test it, because I'm not sure how much fact the belief is based on.
I have an opinion on everything, and I have morals on most aspects of things, so there's a lot of boundaries to break, more so than what I've alluded to already.

This has been a messed up blog, with ideas and thoughts squirming out of place, sorry.

Thanks for reading.
Brittany.

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