Sunday, April 4, 2010


I'm half writing this as a response to a friends blog, and half writing this because it's a topic I've wanted to cover for a while, and they brought it up and reminded me. There's probably a few other halves I could cover, but then that would mean I can't add up, or that I'm putting over a hundred percent into my writing... and technically that would mean I should be writing with amazing quality and clarity. I'm not.

People are connected by all manner of things; differences in thought, the whole opposite poles thing- or more often, significant similarities in common interests. Common interests spark friendships the world round, but it's the people who share more than a common interest, a passion(a deep feeling) for a certain pastime or subject of interest, who seem to form bonds quickly and more tightly than the rest.

For example, a passion of mine is the English language.
Maybe you're thinking "Well duh, she surrounds herself with people who speak English," because that's what I thought as soon as I typed the sentence, but even if you are you know that is not what I mean.
I tend to surround myself with people I can discuss language with. Like, people who write and read on a regular basis, people who overanalyse, people who interpret. I feel they can understand what could be referred to as my 'obsession' easier than others. I am amazed by language. How can someone string words together in a way that makes sense, let alone a way that is engaging? How can someone string an alphabet together?
And novels, man, I can't begin discussing novels without leading into a half hour lecture.
But then I wouldn't have time to discuss acting at all, and that's a huge part of my passion for language.
But what my passion involves is not the point. My point is that I feel I have closer ties with those who I am able to discuss language with than I could ever have with them otherwise, and this in turn, means I have a stronger tie with those who share a passion, or at least a common interest in comparison to what is my passion.

I have a passion for life (Well obviously, everyone who lives has a deep involvement with life), but not so much that I don't ever want to die... I look forward to death, to an extent, just to experience something new, something I have not done before. I know I want to die quickly, but I also want to die with intense pain, because when you are in pain, you're really living, and I want that sense of ultimate life at the moment of death.
I'm not a die-peacefully-in-my-sleep kind of girl.
See, I've planned out my death, I've planned out my job, I've planned out my education, but the one thing I haven't properly planned out is my future. That worries me. It doesn't scare me.

Emotion. There's my last. Emotions are valuable, that's why I try not to give too much of it away and keep it tucked in my own secret corner. Those who know me with a loud, obtrusive personality and that only don't really know me, because there is this me which exists in my time, the engrossed in thought me. I have a deep feeling for feeling itself. I let them out occasionally, otherwise they wreak havoc in my brain.

But those who don't have a passion, those who don't have a topic of their own, that's something I do not envy. They can cause you many problems, but they give out the rewards.


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