Thursday, February 10, 2011

Don't you love how I go to bed when I say I do?

I don't love the part that I'm getting up at 6 or so for a bike ride, and knowing me I'll probably be on here another hour. Ah well. Reap the benefits but deal with the consequences.

I love and hate looking through old photos and posts of mine and others. Makes me feel regretful and happy and thankful and hateful.
Looking through different stages of just the past year has given me such a mixture of emotions.
Mostly happiness at my current stage and how different it was to just over 5 months ago, or anywhere between then and the beginning of that year. But sadness at some choices I made that would have been better avoided.
I don't regret the choices however, only that I wasn't smart enough to see that they would impact me negatively at the time. Every experience in my life adds to the person I am, and though that person isn't the most likeable person in the world, I don't know, with the personality I have, I could ever be happy with myself. So I'm as happy as I could possibly be as a result of the decisions I've made and the effort I've made to drag myself out of some recent... bad... moods.
I'm wondering at the possibility of lies, but surprisingly I find myself not that bothered by them, though of course honesty is the best policy.
Lies are something I'm quite heavily involved with, so I can't claim to be bothered by liars.
Last year was a good, amazing, terrible year.
And it was full of contradictions.
Go figure.

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