I feel overwhelmed.
The stress knots in the top of my back are worse than they've ever been; I swear they're completely solid. The amount of sleep I've been getting has been so minimal it isn't funny. I'm getting less than I was in the holidays, and not purposefully either. The amount of problems I've heard recently has caused me to be ridiculously worried for my friends and for my friendships with them. I'm easily angered, and annoyed by certain people. I'm attacked by emotion and by a sense of needing to belong. I've got homework for an average of two or three hours an afternoon.
What makes it worse is that every night I'm hit by a longing to have his arms around me or his breath on the back of my neck or his voice in my ear or his lips on mine. Which sounds ridiculous, because I am so judgmental of couples who can't seem to stay away from each other, yet I wish I could do the same. Hypocrite? Yes. Maybe I'll stop harbouring that belief now I know what it feels like.
I spent so much time with him in the holidays that I'm struck by a need for that once again. And it can't happen. The most we get is 50 minutes a day and a few hours on a Saturday.
However, despite my frustrations across pretty much all areas of my life, I'm happy, especially for me. The day I started school I started going cycling in the morning. I don't doubt the power of exercise to boost mood any longer.
School still manages to suck the good mood right out of my day, but at least I've got the mood booster in the morning.
Pointless post, I just needed to write and I had nothing much to say.