Saturday, January 29, 2011

I like how you've called me nobody, 'cause nobody cares about you.
And the fact that even I'm not worth living for.
I know that's not what you meant, and that's not what's upset me the most. What's upset me the most is that the thought of ending it has crept into your mind. Even if you say you won't, that you're thinking about it is bad enough.
I'm in the opposite situation to you.
I've got a loving mother, and though I hate my father and he has not an ounce of respect for me, I'm fucking spoilt by both him and my mum. You're the opposite. I'm starting to think that being around me is making you feel worse. I wouldn't blame you. It feels like since I came into your life everything has been turning to pot for you. Firstly, you got teased, for going out with a fucking weird ass girl who's not worth even being friends with in barely anyone's eyes. Then the situation with your mum got worse, you've been having arguments and she's probably lost respect for you because of me and your asking about stuff to do with me.
 Now your mind has turned to this? You've already had too much shit in your life, it feels like I'm creating more. I don't think the relationship is worth it for you.

For fuck's sake. Two weeks and a day before we started going out, I tried to kill myself, and came pretty fucking close to succeeding. You pretty much singlehandedly brought me out of that state of mind, and though I've sunk pretty low since, I've not thought seriously about it, which is a change.
Now your mind is following the opposite path, and I can't do a fucking thing to bring it up again.

You've caused nothing but improvements in my life, and I've caused nothing but shit, shit, shit.

I'm a fucking... terrible person.

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