everyone who i speak to about it starts blaming themselves, or starts guilt tripping me.
guilt tripping me is going to make you feel guilty- it's going to hurt me more to live than it will hurt you for me not to, i'm going to have to live with it all of my natural life.
but you are the ones who are going to stop me from doing it.
i actually don't know what i'm doing anymore, i can't die and i can't live and i can't... for fuck's sake.
the only thing i'm doing nowadays is crying.
well, crying, seeing a psychologist, crying, seeing a GP, crying, seeing a psychiatrist... then the cycle will repeat.
god this fucking hurts i can't do it i can't i can't i can't
fuck, just fuck.