Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I'm shivering insanely.

I'm stuck in the midst of a sea of pure life and I honestly think that merely two things are keeping me sane.
One is the reason I've been happier than I had been in over a year for the past week or so, overall. But it's also keeping me on the other side of sane as well. I cannot get it off my mind. I haven't been so paranoid or ecstatic or content or nervous or expectant or... There are just so many feelings, mostly positive, that are tied up in it.
It's hard not to fall when there isn't anything to grip onto. Falling is fantastic. Not looking forward to the end result, because unless it's a bottomless pit then I'm going to hit some form of ground.
Bloody realism getting in the way of my hopes.
The other is music.
But are they keeping me sane, or just grounded?
Dancing in front of my English class on the way to grab a dictionary is a little odd, especially when half of them have no respect for me to start off with. "That girl who gesticulates too often and can't keep still or quiet? Oh, her. No, I don't really care that much for her."
So is singing at the top of my lungs, though I don't have a voice to speak of. So is dancing delicately when you are not a delicate person, physically.
I'm in a really odd mood at the moment.
I want to just curl up, either with someone to watch a movie, or with a book to... well, read. Then I want to sleep, and not wake up.
I feel like I should be lasting forever, that this moment won't end...

I'd pay someone to come and organise my thoughts.

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