Wednesday, May 26, 2010


I've been writing too many of these lately. Perhaps I ought to slow down a bit.

Or perhaps not.

That last post, that last one was an emotional explosion, and I'm sorry to the person it's directed to, I really am.
But I'm leaving it up, because I don't think deleting it is quite the right thing to do. It's not honest to myself, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

And I think they'd appreciate to know exactly what I'm feeling.
Maybe not quite in that way, but they would. But that's the way I express myself. Through writing.

When they do read it, I hope they keep reading others after it, because they're the ones that show how much I appreciate them usually.

I really wish I didn't have emotions.
I wish that I could put up a semblance of emotion though.
To be a psychopath would be simple. I wouldn't have barely anything to distract me from what I need to do.

Anyway, another topic, because although none of you might be able to tell, I'm getting really worked up and my hands are hammering the keyboard furiously.

Today I'm going job-whoring. Selling myself for the purpose of getting a job. And it's something I may hate, because I am not self-confident and the only thing I can see good about myself at certain points in time is that I am most definitely an individual. Which fits Champion perfectly (...fiercely individualistic). But what doesn't fit Champion is that I'm a pessimistic being. And being individual is the ONLY thing I quite like about myself.
But I really need a job, and it's been long enough without having one. A good 15 years.
So I'm crossing my fingers that I will be able to acquire one.

But good news to anyone who actually bothers to read, good news. I will stop frequenting Blogger as much. Not stop altogether, but mkaybe back to posts every three days?
Which means it'll be a hell of a lot easier to keep up with me. And I'll be able to keep up with myself too.
I'll turn back to the diary which I have, truth be told, neglected since I started here.

Thanks for reading.

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